Contradiction of perceptions

My laptop says it's 2 22 AM and all I can hear is a compulsion called my roommate snoring as if he is making all his desperate effort to keep all the mosquitoes of Kolkata away from us. I think you must have guessed by now why I named my roommate my compulsion as this 'his' clearly suggests about his gender.Else why on earth would I prefer another creature like me within such a close proximity as if I was not enough.Anyway I have just come from office,started washing my face and getting ready to take my dinner.But the calmness around sans the effort of my friend as a mosquito repellent,sort of lured me to grab the moment and spend with just my inner self.

Sit back, peeped outside the window and the darkness ensured it to be the part of the day when sun is done with his duty for this part of the world.Then a weird thought tried to invade a dull territory of the laziest and most inept organ of my body(No guesses please as that organ would be my brain). I just thought to myself that it's been 27 years that I have been told to be in deep sleep at this hour but I don't think I am feeling anything which will remotely be called sleepy.

Since ages,our actions are getting dictated by the people around us and they in turn are also clueless about why they are following them. We are taught about doing everything in a certain way and that includes our feelings too.Like we should be in a mood to freak out on a Friday evening, sleepy on a Saturday or feel like working on a Monday. We even set the age for love, marriage and study. If the digit called your age shows something like 18, we should have infatuations and if that same thing happens at 27,it is interpreted in a different way. This is mere an example but if I dwell,I can come up with many more. So what is it? Even I never thought of it before,taking for granted that some "whys'" in life are never meant to be asked.

I looked at the watch again and this time it has changed its appearance which I am learned to read as 2 44AM. Its been 20 minutes that I have been thinking about this.I looked at the watch again and got a bit confused as to how this small device have such a great control on our life. I mean how can something which is invented by some human and which needs our assistance to work,be the most important part of our life and sometime that even decides our fate. Is it really the set of numbers that the watch represents,dictate our life or our interpretation of those numbers? I think the later is true and in that case ,what exactly have we got from it? Is our life getting better with confining it in a boundary called 'time'?

Well,I think not.

Then the whole perception of time seemed wrong to me. I feel this is not time that is moving rather it's we who are moving. This whole is a relative thing where we feel as if time is passing by but may be it's us who are moving and time is standing still. Time is like the umpteen poles that we pass when travelling in a train.We see only that many which cross us till we stop travelling. But there are poles ahead,till eternity which we are not destined to witness. I think to myself,has the time been moving, it would not have been so predictable.But is the whole mankind a fool and me sitting all to myself when it is about to daybreak,is the only intelligent person? On a lighter note,I doubt even more as I heard somewhere that brain works a bit slower at this part of a day.

So why have we become slaves of something which is made by one of us and the irony is,we have been doing it since the evolution in some way or the other. I think its because of the inherent quality of all us to possess something or may be the desire to own everything that we pass on. So we started naming those innumerable poles we passed on,while on a journey called life. we named it 'time' and divided it in to fractions called years,months,days and so on. But in the process of naming those poles and owning them,we forgot the crux of the very intention of doing it.And that is holding on to a moment.We cared the least about each and every moment as this years, months ,days are taught to be the most important part of life. We started living the years, in my case its 27 but when I asked how much,all I can think of is this 20/30 mins that I have spent now. May be I had some more but they are too old and too less as compared to this digit that represents my age.

So the next time I complain about time travelling too fast then probably I need to hold back,ask myself to live the moment because may be its me who is travelling too fast as 'time' never has control on it.

Anyway,it's 3 now and and I am feeling something which can be called sleepy.

Good night
Sambit